my life as an adult drama queen

I have this crazy New neighbor that lives across the street. We've all met a person like my across the street neighbor---very Narcissistic ( even though very UN-attractive), everything is always about them, everything needs to be done for them, if you do something really nice for them it's never good enough, very paranoid and much much more. Well I had been watching soap operas ( i know i know you don't need to say anything), until I met this person). She kept calling me all the time which was and is completely annoying, but she had all these outrageous stories ;some true, some totally NOT true ( but I pretended to believe it) because she was so entertaining. But not in the way you think. Its just fun when you know someone is lying, because it just makes them look soooo stupid.... like in the events below.She's trying to keep up with the Jones' ,but the funny part is She's using Tyler and I as her "Jones" Family. I find that hilarious, since we are military and we don't make jack squat in $$$.And from what she tells me they make a whole LOT OF IT. But if you went over to her house, you'd BEG to differ ( and then you'd realise that she was lying).At first I felt sorry for her, she doesn't want people to know they don't have alot of money, She tells me almost everyday that her husband doesn't love her and she hates him, and she's looking for a reason for a divorce. But then after a few weeks of getting to know them. I don't feel sorry for her at all, I don't even pity her. And instead of staying away from her crazy behaviour I decided to use it for my own personal entertainment.(Its sooo wrong but I have to talk about it I HAVE TO.)So anyway She'd tell me how much her and her husband hated each other, and she told me how he came here from Guatemala from a work visa, and when it expired he went back to Guatemala . But then he came back here Illegally, all for her ( but if you saw her, you'd be like really, for you???). Then he Knocked her up and then they got married when she was like 8 months preggers.Hmmmm I wonder why he came back????? GREEN CARD ANYONE--Although she doesn't admit it, she has to know that's the only reason why he married her;he's definitely a hell of a lot better looking than she is.(i know i'm totally rude)So anyway one morning she called me and asked if she could come over; i said sure and then she began to tell me That she slept with her husbands brother! I literally was speechless ( not because its adultery, but because EWE (and again) REALLY?Every morning or whenever she would just pop on over to my house and tell more and more of this story and so much of it was OBVIOUSLY STRETCHING the Truth, it was hard to contain my excitement for my own real life Soap opera. I thought you couldn't make this stuff up but apparently you can.Well after her husband went to court for 3 DUI's ( and didn't even go to jail btw), she told me that he found out about her little alleged affair. In my mind i couldn't get anymore excited, it was like the beginning of the second season of a great new TV show. She was starting to tell me that her husbands cousin was now hitting on her, trying to get some action ( it was really hard for me to contain my laughter, but i did it). Then she said that One night after they had all been drinking that her husband beat the crap out of his friend.... for fliriting with her. a few days later she then said, that same night this friend took advantage of her, I said I though your husband be the crap out of him so i left.... she tried to manipulate the story into her "getting raped". I know it was a lie, too many twists and turns and nothing made sense. But it was so entertaining i let it be.So anyway after all that, her Affair story started to get boring and dumb and she was telling me the same things over and over again. So that was that.about two weeks ago she had invited me over for dinner. She asked me to bring over a queso dip that she liked and broiling pans. She told me that she was making jalepeno poppers ( I had given her the recipe). Well the plan was I would go over at 6ish for dinner. I told her not to worry about making anything for my boys (since they are picky and they eat fairly early). Well she didn't even get home until 7. She calls me and says in a rushed voice, are you ever comin over? And I'm like ya, I was just waiting for you!!!So i get over there and she hands me the ingredients for the jalepenos! So i said do you want me to put this over here? She said ya you can start makin em over there. I was shocked, because she invited me over for dinner , i didn't think i had to acutally MAKE IT. So i was like okay. And the thing about the Jalepenos, they are very tedious to make! you have to cut em in half, de seed and de vein, dry em, then stuff em and wrap with bacon. Its very time consuming. So I made em and it took like 45 min. so it was like 7:45 ( my boys go to bed at 8;30-9 ish). In the mean time she was making pizzas out of pilsbury biscuits and she was making alot of em and so i asked are there alot of people coming over and she said no. then she asked ryker if he wanted one and I said he already ate, she looked at me like she was gonna kill me then she said WELL I BETTER STOP MAKING THESE THEN. So i reminded her that she wasn't supposed to make food for my boys. then she asked me Where is the queso? I left it on my counter! I said I'll hurry and go get it and she said (very annoyed) Fine go get it. It took all but two seconds. I get back and she says Where are the chips? I said You only told me to bring over the queso!!! She said I guess i better go to the convient store and get some chips. so she went and got some but by the time she got back it was like 9:00, my boys were crying and were sooo tired. I said I have to take my boys home. She said are you coming back??? I said no they have to go to sleep. Then she said well I want to borrow a movie. Ok fine come over and borrow one. No why dont you choose one and bring it over? No, i have to put my kids down to sleep! well it will be easier for you since you're gonna be over there already. BUT I"M PUTTING MY KIDS TO BED, i said fine so i got a movie and took it over.see what a wack a doo!!! despite how crazy she is--- i never get sick of telling that story.