Ok So this is how it is.....
1- Do NOT EVER get in the bath with your Toddler right after he's taken a poo in his Diaper.
( you may have wiped his/her bum really really well, but when you are sitting in the bath water and you notice strange brown-tan floaties; You'll feel really nasty that you're sitting in some sort of poop water)
2- Unless you are comfortable with Back-wash..... Do not Share your Drink with a Toddler, unless you want to experience nasty floaties
3-Do not Mop the floor until AFTER lunch ( i can't stress this enough---especially to myself)
4-leave the Plastic-wear Drawer un-babyproofed. Kids love that drawer more than their toys.
5- save the sturdy plastic kids cups that come with those lids that you'll get at restaurants ..... they are better than sippy cups, and kids think they are more fun
6-If your child is attached to a specific piece of clothing---- Buy another one of them or else you will have a stinky shirt or pants until the weekend.
7-always have a treat or toy handy BEFORE you go into a grocery store or a Target type Store.... it will save you A LOT of hassle with a bratty child
8- Always Hurry and Put a Diaper on your child (if they aren't potty trained); right after they get out of the bath...... They will pee on the floor or the bed or the towel etc
9-For the Holidays... Never put decorations (that are valuable or Glass) on low tables or near the bottom of the christmas tree etc.
10-Get used to your child yelling out something really awkward in awkward situations. (I.E on a plane or at church---- MOMMY LOOK AT RYKERS BOOBIES!!! OH MOMMY YOU TOOT!!!)
11-Keep your bras and underwear in the top drawer
12- keep the toilet lids CLOSED!!!!
13- Get a Wireless Mouse (for the computer)---kids are relentless and they will try to get that mouse especially while you are using it.
14- Don't be worried if all your child wants is Nuggets for every meal
15-You can blame your kids for your farts!!!! --- if the Fart is silent!!!!
(say you are in a public place, you can't hold it in so it seeps out and it smells nasty!!!! Smell your childs bum and say Ooooo You're poopy aren't you!!!! Then people will think it was baby, instead of you!!! saves ALOT of embarrassment
16- get used to and laugh to Potty jokes! You are gonna be changing diapers Or you have changed diapers for at least 2 years ( 2 yrs per child) get used to "EVERYBODY POOPS"
17- PLUG UP YOUR PLUG/OUTLETS!!!!! your child WILL eventually stick something "not good" in there!!!!
18- Keep your Camera handy at all times!!! Kids do the cutest things and you don't want to forget it.
19- You'd be amazed at what you can fit into a trendy smaller bag rather than a diaper bag---- If you don't want a diaper bag.
20- If your child is in a "acting horrible in a restaurant" phaze--- Bring a mini DVD player !!! NO JOKE! or if you have an iPhone or iTouch (which is our personal fave for a restaurant)- bring or load up your kids favorite movie and then you wont have such a squeemish Screamish Child!
21- get used to hearing the SAME movie over and over and over and over and over and over again---- that also goes with the Backyardigans and their Soundtrack
22- do some sort of Scrapbooking or photobook for each child--- it helps them feel individual and special. And as a parent you will be amazed at how well you did as a parent (especially if you didn't have high expectations for yourself).
23-your kids will constantly stick things in their mouth ----- just make sure its not the astroglide bottle!!!!!
Feel Free to add to this list!!! I know I will--- I had a lot more but I had a HUGE Brain Fart
for mothers and new mothers and older mothers and Grandmothers!!!! I hope you enjoyed this list.... hopefully it helped!!! Or gave you deja-vu or brought back great memories!!!
